Ever have those days where all you see is the shit storm you started?
That was me not too long ago.
I was living in A LOT of "lack energy"
I could only see all the ways I was less than.
My overthinking was getting the best of me and all I could see was the error
of my ways and how hard I had failed!
I felt shame, guilt, fear, regret and so.much.embarassement.
Doing my emotional investigation I knew that all of these feelings
were coming up because I was stuck in Judgement.
I was always taught and believed that it was my fault.
Anything and everything - I could find a way to make it my fault.
Witnessing these thoughts reminded me that I was operating
from a survival habit.
So I reached out. I asked someone to sit with me in my suck.
I was 100% honest about how I was feeling and
exactly what I needed.
The conversation started with "I feel scared....."
Stating how I feel is how I take responsibility.
In the past, I would have talked about how the other person
made me feel and why THAT was the issue.
But with my emotional investigation, I know that
I am in charge of my thoughts
and that is the starting line of any feeling.
When I was able to share my feeling words with another human
it opened up the space for connection.
I wasn't asking for advice, I just needed the space to feel.
And after I talked it through
all I felt was
Liberation.
It is too easy to feel unworthy in a "Lack thereof" type of space.
It is too easy to feel like a failure, like a joke, like an imposter.
The real work starts when you decide to feel
liberated from all the lies that you used to tell yourself.