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Writer's pictureKDC

it's actually NOT your fault

Ever have those days where all you see is the shit storm you started?

That was me not too long ago.

I was living in A LOT of "lack energy"

I could only see all the ways I was less than.


My overthinking was getting the best of me and all I could see was the error

of my ways and how hard I had failed!

I felt shame, guilt, fear, regret and so.much.embarassement.


Doing my emotional investigation I knew that all of these feelings

were coming up because I was stuck in Judgement.

I was always taught and believed that it was my fault.


Anything and everything - I could find a way to make it my fault.

Witnessing these thoughts reminded me that I was operating

from a survival habit.


So I reached out. I asked someone to sit with me in my suck.

I was 100% honest about how I was feeling and

exactly what I needed.


The conversation started with "I feel scared....."


Stating how I feel is how I take responsibility.


In the past, I would have talked about how the other person

made me feel and why THAT was the issue.


But with my emotional investigation, I know that

I am in charge of my thoughts

and that is the starting line of any feeling.


When I was able to share my feeling words with another human

it opened up the space for connection.

I wasn't asking for advice, I just needed the space to feel.


And after I talked it through

all I felt was

Liberation.


It is too easy to feel unworthy in a "Lack thereof" type of space.

It is too easy to feel like a failure, like a joke, like an imposter.


The real work starts when you decide to feel

liberated from all the lies that you used to tell yourself.


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