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  • Writer's pictureKDC

What NOT ask a pregnant person

Updated: Apr 18, 2023

In the summer of 2022, we found out that we were expecting. Along the way, probably because of hormones, but also by taking mindful steps, I found myself getting asked the same questions by people.

When we can approach questions with kindness and genuine care we can have better conversations.

Instead of....


How are you feeling?

What's the most surprising part?

Are you feeling the baby move?

Do you know the placenta placement?

Going in to touch a pregnant belly

Ask if it's ok to touch first

Everyone asks "How are you feeling?". To be honest for me, it's been usually awful 😅. Everything hurts, sleep deprivation has already sunk in, and feeling like I no longer have control over my body is a struggle.

So instead of focusing on all the reasons and things that suck, ask "What's been the most surprising part?" This can bring more positive thoughts and memories about the process.

When you ask "Have you felt the baby move yet?" Is another one of those hard questions. I didn't feel anything until the 6-month mark. And because of the placement of my placenta what people would know to be regular baby movement was not what I was experiencing.

This can bring up feelings of being inadequate or like our bodies are doing something wrong. So asking the question of the placenta placement can give you the green light on how to approach it further.

I have an anterior placenta so it's positioned in the front and so there is a bit of extra cushion so it feels like bubbles popping instead of punches or kicks.

Someone with a detached placenta would be in a lot of pain and movements again would feel different.

Not as "magical" as some would think right?

And as always make sure you are asking to touch a pregnant belly before coming in hands hot! Consent should still be part of the process of touching someone.

Are you currently expecting? What other questions urke you? What would you rather be asked? Leave your comments below

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