Making friends as an adult is weeeeeeird. For most of our lives we're put into situations that easily create friendships. School, work, clubs, sports, these are the usual places where we meet our friends.
But what happens when you outgrow your highschool friends? What do you do when all of your friends move away? What do you do when what made you friends in the first place, no longer stands?
It can be a hard reality check when you realize that you don't have as much in common as what brought you together.
As human beings we crave human connection. Life is hard and we do better when we have people in our corner. So, how do you make friends IRL?
First thing you have to do is reach out. Talking to strangers is what our parents taught us not to do, but in this case kdc gives you permission!
Scrolling through Instagram I double tap a lot of photos. But when I come across a sweet piece of art, or I read a vulnerable caption I do more than just send a like. I will leave a genuine comment about how their post resonated with me, sometimes a simple poop emoji is enough.
Almost 2 years ago now I sent a comment to someone online letting them know how much I appreciated their art and style. I noticed we had a lot in common so I suggested we meet IRL. Sure it was scary and it kind of felt like a blind date, but as soon as we were face to face it felt like we were meant to be friends.
If you are feeling a bit more adventurous I suggest making a list of your favourite hobbies or activities. Think of activities that include other people, then go to those places. There are a lot of great FB groups sorted by interests and cities so local hangs can happen.
I used to use the Meetup website a lot back in the day. This was how I found my OG book group and a movie going group. There was even monthly food group meetup where we would go and try different restaurants together. These types of solutions are cool because you already know that you have at least 1 common interest.
My go-to connection tool is to find a commonality between myself and the person I want to befriend. What colour(s) are they wearing? What type of bag are they carrying? What app are they using? This starts off as small talk but it puts me at ease when I know we already have something in common.
I met my best friend in the girl's bathroom after I followed her in one day. I noticed that she missed a few classes and I was drawn to her because she was funny and had a great smile. If you ask her, she thought I was following her to beat her up! Instead she was greeted with all of my questions! Do you need help? Do you want my notes? Do you need someone to talk to? Do you need a tutor?
Sometimes you just get a feeling about people like "yes, in my mind we are already best friends!" so don't let that moment pass. If you admire someone, let them know. If you want to hang out with them, let them know. The worst they can say is no, and really if they answer that they don't deserve to be your friend anyways!
Besides finding commonalities with strangers how else do you approach strangers you want to become friends with? Let me know below!