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  • Writer's pictureKDC

How to deal with self-judgement

Updated: Jul 28, 2020

During February we are taking a deep look into judgement and belonging and one part that comes up huge is how we deal with self-judgement.

Some common self judgement thoughts:

I'm not good enough

I'm not worthy

I'm not smart enough

I'm not pretty/handsome enough

My opinions don't matter so why share them?

This stuff comes up for me pretty often and is one of the biggest anxiety hurdles. These thoughts plague so many of my friends and clients and the answer I always give us all is that self judgement is only ever cured through kindness to ourselves.

I love that the translation of emotion in Latin is energy in motion.

Whenever we feel anything it sends vibrations through our bodies, and stimulates our brains. It's funny how quick I feel like shit once I start thinking any of the above thoughts. It's such a reminder that my ever so powerful brain is the only thing that controls how I feel.

That's right friends, it's our brain and what we think that brings us to our feelings. This is actually the only way our feelings are created and it's only through thought.

I've gotten really good at calling out my brain for its Bullshit, I know that 90% of the time the first thing it comes up with is a lie or a distraction. We've been programmed for fight or flight responses since the start of time, but when we let these negative self thoughts come in we find evidence to support it.

I'm not pretty enough - that's why I didn't get that promotion.

Everyone talks over me so I know that my opinions don't matter.

My dad left when I was only a baby so I'm not good enough to be loved.

The fact that you are here on this earth, as a human is enough. you are enough as is. We all are.

Kindness to ourselves isn't just about self love or self care, it means that when your brain comes up with these negative things you are able to shut.that.shit.down. Back in the day I surrounded myself with people that treated me just as bad as I felt about myself. I let them treat me like shit because I felt like I deserved it. When I found the power of my own control again I promised myself to never put myself in those types of situations again. I needed to learn how to be ok with me, through and through - top to bottom - inside and out. I needed to learn how to take care of my thoughts to really understand my feelings.

So what do you do when you find yourself judging yourself?

  1. Give yourself a break! We are all human, we are all trying, we are all just looking for safe space and safe people.

  2. Set yourself straight and take care of you. Take a walk, take a breath, take a moment to look up.

  3. Question your brain. Why am I feeling what I am? Where do I feel it the most? How do you want to feel?

Judgement can be hard, but don't get mad when it shows up. Just notice that it's there.

Is this something you struggle with? Book your FREE clarity call with me to get tangible steps and techniques to help you navigate.

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