Guilt is a red flag. It comes up because we feel like we've mess up. We take on the weight of the situation and all of the feelings involved. Guilt can be heavy AF when we let it creep in.
Knowing the difference between guilt and shame is an important place to start. Brene Brown says it best.
This can be a tricky place to be. We have to remove the behaviour from the person. This hits home for me when I think of myself and addiction. I turned to excessive drinking for a period of my life because I believed that I didn't deserve anything great.
I felt deep in my core that I was bad because my shame ran so deep and had so much control over my brain.
It has taken over a decade for me to come to a peaceful place where I can say that I did something bad and that doesn't make me a bad person. It does not define who I am now. And it sure as hell does not dictate who I am becoming.
Even with lots of work my own negative self talk shines bright here. If you're anything like me your brain will be trying to trick you into focusing on what you don't control. The work you have to put in is to redirect your brain into spotlighting the things you actually do control. Ultimately it comes down to your thoughts, feelings and what you do with them both.
I want you to take a look at all the places you noted last week that you felt guilt. Is any of it actually shame?
When you feel like shit is your fault I want you to ask yourself these questions.
1. What is within my control?
2. What are the facts?
3. How do I want to feel?