Updated: Jul 28, 2020
It's important to remember and start with the simple reminder that we are all human. We all make mistakes. Every single one of us.
When I find myself in a regretting something it is usually because I was too afraid to speak up or show up. So to keep myself out of the spiral I find my footing by remembering what I can control. That's only my own thoughts, feelings and actions.
By showing myself compassion I look at the situation from a different lense and ask myself what my fear is trying to show me. If it's anxiety that keeps me quiet I take a look at what my brain was telling me in that moment. I focus on those negative feelings to figure out how I got there.
When compassion just isn't enough I'll write a burn letter. Not for anyone else but me. I'll write down all the things I wish I could have said. And then I throw it away. In a way it gives me closure and regret never lasts long afterwards.
Productive regret is where you can get to a place where you can look for the lesson within all the shit. This is when you can shift to gratitude.